Russell A. Mebane - African American Science Fiction Writer
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My Blog

Why I Like the IRS. Seriously.

I first want to clarify that I am not in debt to the IRS, nor am I about to be.  I just pay attention to politics, especially political commentary, and I see a lot of criticism directed at the American government.  Congress is berated.  The president gets trashed.  Conversations about the supreme court revolve around which political party is pulling the strings.  It seems that every section of the government is corrupt and/or doesn't know its job.  With so much perceived dysfunction, is there ANY part of the federal government that's consistent and dependable?  It just so happens that there is!  The Internal Revenue Service!  The IRS!

Here's their mission.  They collect taxes and enforce tax laws.  They are one of the most efficient tax organizations in the world.  What does that mean?  Well, imagine that the U.S. government is a pimp and its people are whores.  The IRS is the pimphand of the government.  They smack us around to make sure we pay the government its money.  What I like best about it, as compared to other parts of government, is its consistency.  It pimpsmacks all American citizens equally.  It has no regard for race, religion, class, or, even sexual orientation.  If you don't pay your taxes in a timely manner, you'll get pimpsmacked. 

Do you feel cheated by Congress or the President?  Do you want to see justice in government?  Look no further than the IRS.  Do you remember the mobsters Al Capone or John Gotti?  Do you remember what got them put in prison?  Rackateering?  Nope!  Too hard to prove.  Drug possession?  Nope.  Too much drug money lining the pockets of certain government officials.  They were busted for tax evasion.  After they were pimpsmacked by the IRS, then the other charges were applied.  The IRS could not be bribed, blackmailed, or corrupted.  You either have the money or you get smacked with fines and/or jail time.  No grey areas.  No political pandering.  No special interests.  That's justice. 

Again, I admit that I have never been smacked by the mighty pimphand that is the IRS.  I have owed them in the past and I have paid them promptly and politely.  I have learned that the IRS even helps the American citizenry find deductions to lower their tax burden.  I've even forgotten to factor in certain deductions and the IRS did it for me and adjusted my refund accordingly.  This is a strong, yet kind pimphand.  

I do know that many people don't like pimps or, even worse, being pimped.  However, it is a reality that as members of this great society, we are going to be pimped, either politically, financially, or both.  Pimping is a natural side effect of any government.  I'm just happy to know that while I'm still a whore, I have a pimp with a kind, strong pimphand.  I know that the IRS is unpopular with those who've been smacked by it, but I always have Daddy's money, so I never worry about it.  Thank you IRS for being a firm hand in an unstable time.  Seriously.  Thanks!



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1 Comment to Why I Like the IRS. Seriously.:

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Custom essay on Tuesday, October 10, 2017 3:53 AM
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